Tape a One-a-Day vitamin to a light bulb on a lamp that has a shade. Each time the person turns on the light, a terrible odor will begin to fill the room because of the burning vitamin on the bulb. They will have a difficult time figuring out where the odor is coming from.
Motion Light Problems
Many homes have those lights that only come on when they sense motion. Put a piece of duct tape over the motion sensing part and the people will be outside waving and jumping in front of the light trying to get it to go on. - Blame Travis from Golden, CO
Find a broken drinking fountain and get a couple of friends to get in a line behind you. Wait until somebody comes then you and each of your friends pretend to drink. After which you walk off (while watching the unsuspecting party trying to make the fountain work).
Burger Flippin' Boss
We pulled a great one on our boss one day. After filling out an application for employment for him at McDonalds (fast food restaurant) we got our "DM" for the district in on the joke. She called our boss into her office and sat him down. Her first question was "So, do you want to tell me why McDonalds is calling me for references on you?" Our boss had just heard from McDonalds that day. They wanted to bring him in for an interview. Of course, he was very confused as to why they would call, and shocked that our DM already knew about it. We all gathered around the door as he left our DM's office to laugh at him. It was a great day. We are all waiting for the retaliation!
Auto Confetti Dumper
All you need is a ceiling fan, a roll of duct tape, and some confetti (if you're feeling especially nasty, use glitter). Make a duct tape and paper "tunnel" on the blades of the ceiling fan, fill with confetti. Enjoy!
Nail Polish Message Board
Take some invivsble tape and put it on your refrigerator. Then take some bright red fingernail polish and paint something on the tape. (You should try to make the message as weird as possible and be careful not to miss the tape.) Let someone find it and freak out. Then peel off the tape to calm them down. I did this to my mom, and she was soooo mad at the thought that I had painted the fridge with fingernail polish. She thought it was really funny when she discovered the truth.
I went to a livestock auction an purchased a small goat. I then took the goat to a co-workers house and put it in the fence yard and took his dog. The next morning he was surprised to find a goat grazing merrily in his back yard. (I had a farmer willing to give the goat a good home after the joke was played.)
Take the small electronic music button out of a musical greeting card and hide it under your carpeting some place where there is lots of foot traffic. Fix the activation switch so that it plays the music whenever it is stepped on. It will drive your family (and pets) nuts trying to figure out where the sound is coming from.
When someone is watching television and leaves the room for a minute, sneak in and change the television to a channel that has static on it. When your prankee comes back he’ll think the cable is on the fritz. Enjoy watching as they search for the problem.
When playing pool, ask an opponent if you can use their chalk. Yours smells funny and doesn't seem to be working right. Invariably, the will want to smell it - when they do, chalk their nose.
Buy three chickens from a farm (crazed and erratic ones work best) and label them 1, 2, and 4, then release them in a school and watch as the people catch the three chickens and then spend hours looking for the phantom chicken that doesn’t exist.
My daughter had enough of my husbands constant jokes, so she decided to get him back. While he was at work, she hid a clove of garlic in the front pocket of his one of underwear in the dresser drawer. The next day he put them on and over the next few hours, the garlic warmed up and was "activated". All day long, wherever he went, my husband kept asking everyone around him if they could smell "garlic bologna" or something. He thought he was going crazy!
Put powdered milk all over your victim's sheets (works best if the sheets are white and your victim is a heavy sleeper). When they sleep, they'll sweat and the milk will get into their pores and they'll reak like sour milk for days.
Sneak into a roommates room at night and set their clock ahead two hours and their alarm ahead two hours.
Items needed: 1 or 2 marbles, a small metal box (like a band-aid box) and tape. Place the marbles in the box and tape it under their car seat, the marbles hit the box sides at every corner or pothole, but not load enough to pin point the source. I did this to a buddy and he spent weeks trying to find the rattle.
Remove all the washing of your friends drying line, rewet them, put them in a plastic bucket and set the bucket in the freezer. When its a solid block of clothing, remove the block of clothing from the bucket, set it by their door, ring the doorbell and run.
Take all the labels off the cans in the pantry. Leads to a mystery dinner each time.
Take a ballon and blow it up, don't tie it, and shut it in the door frame so when someone opens the door the baloon shoots out and makes a farting noise. It is almost guaranteed to give the victim a scare .
Braille Menu Please
Before going through the drive-thru, put on a pair of really dark glasses. Bypass the menu board, going straight to the window, and while looking to the side, ask for a Braille menu. “Read it” with your fingers, order. Weave slightly as you drive off.
Wrong Locker, Kid!
Break into a freshman's locker and replace their books with yours. When you see that person coming to their locker, open it and act as though you are getting things for your next class. this will result in a very bewildered freshman and a good laugh for you.
Fiery Poop Sack
This is a joke from the 1960s that I still get a kick out of today. Take a paper bag and fill it with dog poop. Place the paper bag on somebody's front porch and then light the bag on fire. Quickly knock on the door and run, making sure you can't be seen. When the victim opens the door, they'll freak out at the fire and try to stomp it out with their feet. It makes a pretty good mess, and it smells up the whole porch! It's really funny if the victim is barefoot or in stocking feet. - Mike Anderson You forgot the part about running around the house to the back door and ringing that doorbell, too. Guess what happens to the carpet when the victim runs through the house to catch the prankster at the backdoor!
Pet Food Lover
I enjoy washing out a can of cat or dog food, and replacing it with tuna, or a similar food substance, and walking out to a room full of people casually eating out of the can with a fork. --- Kathy Wittig
You can also fill a small dry dog food box with Cracklin Oat Bran (or similar dry cereal that looks like dry dog food) and snack from it.
Hot Cross Buns
Spray a light coating of pepper spray (mace) on a roll of toilet paper (outside of course) and let it dry. Install the toilet paper roll in the restroom of your choice. The screams can be heard throughout the building. --- Jason
Attempt to enter a movie theatre carrying a folding chair under your arm (best if done by a large group) when they ask, tell them that you prefer this to the theatre chairs. AND/OR... Enter wearing 3D glasses. Assure the attendant that they'll work at ANY movie. --- Jordan
A Shower of a Different Color
When at a friends house, take a bar of soap from their shower. Hollow out part of it and fill the hole with red, green, or blue food coloring. Cover the hole with a thin layer of soap formed from what you hollowed from the bar. Place the bar hole-side down in the shower stall and wait for the fun! --- Thanks to: Kris Elder
Toilet Snake Attack
My wife had a job where she had to drive about 1 hour to get home. Almost invariably, the first place she went when she got home was the bathroom. I bought a rubber snake and used fishing line to tie around its head and taped it to the lid of the toilet. She got home, went into the bathroom, lifted the toilet lid and screamed bloody murder when the snake came out of the water to attack her! (Especially good it the person has an irrational fear of snakes!). --- Thanks to R. Henson (But, its probably NOT a good idea to play this one on folks with a weak heart!)
Wait till its dark outside and go to a remote, unlit intersection with some sort of posts on either side. Tie a black thread all the way aross the street and a pair of underwear on it. Hide nearby and when someone goes to drive through, they see this floating white thing in the middle of the road. Its a riot! --- Thanks to kenjh
A Word to the Wise(guys)
Please warn your website visitors to be careful when playing these practical jokes. Aco-worker played a joke similar to the caramel hot joke....only she put it inside of chocolate in candy mold... one of the co-workers had an allergic reaction to the hot sauce and sued her for hospital costs and damages..... some people do nothing but holler lawsuit every time they turn around... be aware. --- From MajjicRose@aol.com
Hot Cheese Puffs
Tired of your co-workers stealing your fries or chips while you eat?? Try this, and it will never happen again! Take several soft Cheese Puffs (not the crispy ones, but the fat, puffy ones) and using a paper clip, hollow out the puffs. Fill the hollowed out section of the puffs with cayenne pepper, then plug the end back onto the puffs (if you wet both ends with your tongue and hold them together, they will weld themselves together). When your unsuspecting co-worker pops these in his/her mouth, it will be the last time they will bother your food again! --- Thanks to Scotty Ace
Fragrant Foul Fish Shtick!
I once wanted to get someone so I placed a piece of frozen fish in their room. Once the fish
thaws, the room starts to smell. The room was inhabited by two guys and each thought the smell came from the others' laundry. They lit candles all week swearing it was the other guys' laundry. --- Anonymous
Another classic sink spray prank: Place a band-aid or a piece of tape on the end of a faucet, leaving only the front part open. This will cause the water to shoot straight out at the person who turned on the faucet.
Do NOT Open!
Dont want someone to come into your (or their) room? Get a large plastic cup (like a Big Gulp), fill it with water, and set it carefully on the top of a partially opened door. Post a warning sign on the door which reads, Do Not Open! Or, just verbally warn them not to open the door. When they inevitably do open the door, the cup will fall dowsing them with water. --- Thanks to: Tony Edinger
At a crowded party or nightclub with a line to the bathroom, crack a glowstick and then snip the end, emptying the glowing contents into the toilet/urinal. Hilarity ensues when the people behind you are shocked and amazed at your glowing urine! If someone comments on it, tell them nonchalantly that you used to live near a nuclear power plant. --- Thanks to: Colette
Tape Saran wrap in the doorway of a very dimly lit room and wait for some unsuspecting victim to enter the room. This is a classic! --- Thanks to: Lindsay
Place your order at a drive-thru and at the end of the order say, "Can we get that to go, please?" Or, if you are a disgruntled fast food drive-thru window operator, ask if they would like that to go. Duh! --- Thanks to Kroseman
More Fast Food Funnies
If you work at a fast food drive through window, repeat everything they order in the form of a question. For instance: I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese and fries. - Would you like fries with that? Would you like to upsize that to a full quarter pounder? Would you like to add cheese on your quarter pounder? Space out the questions so they have time to repeat their order between each inane round of questioning.
If you are at the drive-thru side of the speaker, turn it around. When they ask, Would you like fries with that? Repeat their question, then say nothing... Would I like fries with that? Repeat as long as possible.
At the McDonalds Drive-Thru, order everything with the word Mc infront of it. McCoke, McFries, McQuarter Pounder with McCheese... and, it never hurts to through in a McJagger for good measure.
Knotty Little Sucker
When with friends drinking from a cup with a straw and lid, wait until a friend leaves his/her drink unattended tie a knot in their straw below the lid. --- Thanks to (Paul) STORMS
What you do is show up for work real early and and put a thin layer of Icy-Hot or Ben Gay on the toilet seat and wait for somebody to sit on it! Works every time. --- Thanks to: Mike "Hot Buns" Devrick
No Lather Soap
Go into a friends bathroom with some clear nail polish and paint thier soap with it. Cover the whole bar and the soap will never lather up. --- Thanks to: Roxanne
I work in a steel fab shop and some of the employee's had work boots and winter coveralls that had accumulated in the two stall bathroom we had. Every morning the old timers were doing their morning business and one morning I got to work real early and placed a pair of coveralls and a pair of boots in each stall making it look like both were occupied. I sat outside watching about a half dozen people pace the floor. This went on for quite a while and myteriously one had to leave work for some unknown reason! --- Thanks to: Mike Colvin
At the End of the Rope
For this one you need a rope and a friend. Get a hold on the rope, while your friend is doing the same. Tighten the rope around a corner on a building. Make sure if somebody can see you, they definitely cant see your friend. Ask a stranger on the street if he would care to help you holding the rope for a few minutes, while you are off to collect something. Tell the stranger to keep the rope tight, and then walk away. Make sure your friend on the other side of the building is doing the same. Result: Two strangers are standing on each side of a corner, wondering when you will be back, and eventually wandering why they are holding a rope. Imaging the situation when the two innocent strangers actually meet. Sounds like a good one for Candid Camera doesnt it? --- Thanks to: annonymous - whoever you are.
One of my best practical jokes is when I put snap pops (that you get from fire work stands) under the toilet seat. When your "victim" sits down, theyre in for a BIG surprise! --- Thanks to: Cassie Smith
I have taken styrofoam packing peanuts, painted them with orange poster paint (make sure it is non-toxic / or use orange food coloring to be safe), and put them out at a party after folks have had a few drinks. --- Thanks to: Joanne Gleason
Oh, Yeah? What Else Can You Spell?
Next time you go through the drive in with a friend tell them you heard they had a new promotional. I did this with my hubby. I said " If you go to the window and say, I can spell Whopper Combo you get a free hamburger." He feel for it hook line and sinker. The face on the guy in the service window was just as good as my husband. --- Thanks to: Tudy
Who Called Who?
Got Caller ID? Next time your phone rings, and if you recognize the caller's name or phone number, answer it saying, " Hello, may I speak to (use a wrong name)?", afterwards, your caller will get confused and tell you that you have the wrong phone number. Then they'll call back, but do this about three times (if they haven't cought on or given up) and after the third time they call you, ask for THEIR name, they will be totally confused. You can have a lot of fun with this joke. You can even pretend to be a credit card company representative or even a telemarketer. --- Thanks to Holsey Robbins
Car for Sale - Call Between 3 to 5am
My father played this joke on a friend of his once. This friend had a car for sale on the street. he had left the doors unlocked and just placed a sign with his number on the windshield. My father replaced the sign with one that said to call between 3 AM and 5 AM. His friend never did figure out why people kept calling at the wee hours of the morning. --- Thanks to: Butter@...
A night or two before, when you know your "prankee" will be home, call EVERYTHING you can think of related to someone holding a carnival, but wait until after regular business hours so you can leave a message with your "prankee's" name and phone #. Have them all call back within an hour you know your rube will be home. Look in the yellow pages and call places that rent carnival rides, clowns, petting zoos, jugglers, caricature artists, etc., even port-a-john rentals. Leave messages that say "Hi, my name is _______. I'm setting up a carnival in (month) and wanted to rent all of your (monkeys and goats). Please call me at (phone number) tomorrow between 2 and 3 o'clock. Thanks." Try to be there when they get the return calls. It's real fun. --- Thanks to: sakenomi@...
When you're with your friend in a parking lot, and they run in the store to pick something up and leave you in the car, move it to a different spot so when they come out its not there and watch the look on their face... it's priceless! --- Thanks to GinBin696@...
The next time you pull into fast-food drive-thru, give your entire order talking through a kazoo. It replicates the bad speaker sound that you are forced to endure. --- Thanks to Rich
Fast Food Dribble Cups
Here's another wonderful little harmless prank great for work. Many of us have at one time or another, worked in a fast food restuarant while in high school. I found that rude customers in the drive-through to be a pain in the kazoo, so here is a fun little prank that works great! Simple to do, difficult to get caught and guaranteed to "enrich" the lives of those rude drive-through jerks. All you need is a push-pin or a thumb-tack. Walk by the stacks of cups for the sodas and punch a small hole in the bottom with the push-pin. It'll usually puncture 3 or 4 cups in the stack and since the pin hole isn't large, the customer usually doesn't notice until the cup has sat in their lap for several minutes and their crotch is wet. Coffee is a bonus, because they will feel a warm wet sensation in their crotch and usually spill the coffee all over themselves trying to grab the cup out of their lap. When the customer comes back to complain, it is very easy to deny any involvement in the mishap and blame it on a recently "Fired" employee. Get them a new cup and laugh behind their back. Again, if you get caught,,you didn't hear this from me. --- Thanks again to: Powerslv28@...
Red Hot Caramels
Here's another one of mine that has been tried (unfortunately a raccoon was the first victim) and came out with great success. It involves a bag of Caramels and a candy mold (any candy mold will do) and a bottle of Dave's Insanity Sauce (hot sauce - the hotter the better). Heat the caramels until they melt and then pour the caramels into the candy mold. Leave enough space for 1 drop of Dave's and then cover the drop with caramel. Warning!!! Dave's Insanity Sauce is a special hot sauce that is INCREDIBLY HOT! 1 drop will cause intense pain and possibly cause the victim to vomit. Do not use more than one drop or you could possibly cause the victim to require medical attention, which, depending on your sense of humor could make the situation even funnier, or tragic. Wait for the caramels to cool, take them out of the mold and bring to an office party. Make sure that the boss tries your candy first. Enjoy! --- Thanks again to: Powerslv28@...
Here goes another one that was not intended to be a practical joke. My roommate did this to himself and talk about laughter! We ran out of automatic dishwashing detergent, so he filled the dishwasher with "Dawn" and started it. The entire kitchen filled with soap suds and it took him over six hours to clean up the mess. I recommend this for a friends house that is throwing a big party. Big parties generate lots of dishes and the dishwasher is usually running by the end of the party, so just open the door, squirt a decent amount into thebottom, shut the door and wait for the suds. Remember to help clean up afterwards though. Dishes are guaranteed clean. Remember, if you get caught, you didn't hear this from me --- Thanks again to: Powerslv28@..
Smokin in the Can
Here's another one that was pulled, and actually was quite funny. My friend went to Baskin-Robbins and managed to get 5 pounds of dry ice. He attended a party and strangely enough when someone went into the bathroom to use it, the toilet was smoking. Very funny, however, the side effect if you use too much dry ice, is a frozen toilet, which can also be very funny. Enjoy! --- Thanks one more time to: Powerslv28@... (wouldnt you hate to have this guy around?)
Look, Up in the Sky!
Stand in the middle of an open air mall (or any other crowded area) with a friend. Start looking up at the sky. Then point at something in the sky. In about a minute or so you will have half the mall looking up at the sky wondering what's going on. Then, just leave. --- Thanks to: Gilbert Christian Aue
Put a box in your engine compartment filled with distributor caps, wires, fan belts, etc. Close the hood and drive wherever there is a long line waiting on the sidewalk. "Stall the car" infront of the line. Get out mumbling about the "dang car!" Open the hood, look inside, shrug your shoulders, scratch your head, then proceed to pull stuff out of the box and throw in into the roadway. Slam the hood, get back into the car, start the engine, nod your head to the crowd, smile, and drive off. --- Thanks to Scott Novotny
Get a large empty carton; size computers come in is ideal. Seal well with Duct Tape. Carry into colleagues work space with great difficulty, as if its heavy, and dump the case in his walkway. saying as you depart swiftly "This came for you". As you leave, he calls out "You can't leave that there!", then gives a great heave to lift the "heavy" case. With any luck he will fall back arse over tit (as we say). --- Thanks to: John McKeon, Limerick, Ireland
Salt Shaker Shenanigans
The one my husband and I still like to pull, after many years is in a restaurant, after you're done eating and ready to leave, unscrew the top of the salt shaker all the way and then screw it back on just enough to hold it on there. When the next customer uses the salt, poof, salt all over the place. --- Charlotte Piggush
The Funnel Trick
At the workplace you and several freinds fill your morning coffee cups with water and stand around while one guy sticks a funnel in the top of his pants and holds a quarter. When the unsuspecting victim walks in, the funnel guy starts rolling the quarter down and off the end of his nose, purposely missing the funnel. when the victim asks whats happening you tell him youre trying to catch the quarter in the funnel. Invariably he will say that's easy or that shouldnt be hard to do. You respond with oh yeah, bet you cant get it in six tries. As soon as he sticks the funnel in his pants and tilts back his head, everybody reaches out and dumps thier cup of water down the funnel.
With a little planning and practice missing the funnel, this joke will pull off without a hitch, and is simply hilarious.
---Thanks to Cusson@...
I work at a restaurant and a dishwasher pulled this one on me (this works just as well at home). As someone is about to walk away, tell them to hang on a moment and that you have something for them. Take a plastic container (about 2-quart size will do) and go to the sink. The sink MUST be out of sight of the victim. run the water and pretend to fill it. Then say Ok, I got it. Walk over to them and make the motion of throwing the water onto them. They'll flinch every time and boy will their face turn red (mine sure did). --- Thanks to Sean Corcoran
Dip the end of your middle finger into something wet. Then slip your wet finger into the ashtray and get ashes to stick on your finger. Tell your victim that they have something on their cheek. Point with the point finger while tucking the middle finger into your palm. After they wipe their face say, No , sorry you missed it! Here let me get it! When you reach up to their face rub the ashes on their face 2-3 times - leaving behind a BIG black stripe or LARGE smudge on their cheek. Since they can not see their own face till they get to a mirror they will walk around without knowing the smudge is there. - Thanks to Carickpa@...
Stringing Em On
When your roommate is out for the night get a huge ball of string and have some fun. Tie the string all over their bedroom. Keep spinning the web until you can barely get out of the room. Wait until they come in at night and if they don't turn the lights on they'll be all tangled up. TRUST ME!!! - Thanks to Eggdecater@...
Do what my friend did to her husband on April fools....she made his lunch and announced that she was sending him a boiled egg....only thing was...it was NOT boiled...what a MESS! - Thanks to Trinklet@...
Tell your wife or girlfriend to stop off at the auto service station and "Have the air rotated in the tires." oooh! And , Honey while you are there tell them to Check the pressure relief valve in the cap to make sure the windows do not pop out when it gets warm outside. - Thanks to Carickpa@...
1. Rush into a public bathroom pretending you REALLY have to take a whiz.
2. Bring a sports bottle with you... Full of water (yellow food coloring optional)
3. Get into a stall beside an already occupied one.
4. Make a zipper zip sound (like you're unzipping your fly).
5. Squirt (with the bottle) under the stall wall and INTO the occupied stall...
TIP: Add some sound effects to make it more effective (oops, missed) --- Thanks to Jerry Wong
My uncle pulled this one. He hid a Babe Ruth candy bar (still in wrapper) in his swim trunks. After a few minutes in the pool, he went into the shallow end and was very still. He would make small grunting sounds and act like he was straining slightly. Don't be too noticable. Then he VERY discreetely opeed the candy bar and let it float out behind him. Then he quickly swam away. As an added twist, when someone notices it say it looks like Poop and you will get it out. After smelling it , a bite wont hurt !!! It really livened up a party. --- Thanks to Suzanne (We probably should also thank to the "Caddy Shack" writers for giving your uncle the inspiration for this gag.)
Mr. Hardbody Snowman
Fill large garbage can with water in the winter. Let it freeze. Turn it upside down on the shoulder of the road and build a snowman around it. Make a big sign that the snowman holds to say PLEASE Dont Hit Me. Watch to see the first rude driver to run down a solid snowman that asked to not be hit. --- Thanks to Rwty@...
Cream (?) Filling
I was babysitting one day, the man I was babysitting for really likes ladylock cookies. So since he always played jokes on me I figured it was my turn to get him. I very carefully scooped all of the filling out of the cookies and filled them with non-toxic white school paste. When he bit down on one the next day you wouldn't believe his face. He did admit it was a good joke! --- Thanks to Naynay2@...
When I lived in the college dorm on a coed floor, it was war between the girls and the guys. The best practical joke we girls pulled on the guys was excellent!!! When the guys weren't around we went into their bathroom and lifted the seats on the toilets. We then proceeded to cover each toilet VERY CAREFULLY with plastic wrap (be sure there isn't a wrinkle in sight or it will be noticeable). The guys that went #1 got back-sprayed and the guys that sat down for #2 had a big mess on their hands (or should I say on their behinds!!). I have never laughed so hard in my life as when I heard all the yelling coming out of that bathroom!!! --- Thanks to: Sheri Brendal
Authorized Personnel Only!
Go to your favorite store and post a big sign in red letters on the front door that reads, "AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY". --- Thanks to Alex Stovboun
Youll Have to Speak Up
Tell two strangers that are about to meet that the other is very hard of hearing. Tell them both that the other is very sensitive about it, so talk loudly, but try not to be obivious about it and whatever they do, don't mention it. It's also fun to tell all your co-workers that the same about a new employee and watch everyone shout at him all day long. --- Thanks to: Dave "toad84" Anderson
Sticky Toilet Seat
Clear karo syrup on toilet seat is the best one I know. --- Thank to: SHERYL AND RON
About two years ago I ran into a friend's house while he was having a party. I busted in out of breath wheazing about all the monkeys on Forbes Avenue. Everyone asked what I was jabbering about. I caught my breath and explained that a "monkey truck" had tipped over on Forbes and monkeys were everywhere. This had 10 people run the entire six blocks to get to the "crash site."
--- Thanks to Josh "Frogman" Pierson who also adds:
Fun with Feces!
Little Debbie Brownies look like dog poop when you roll them up like Play-Dough snakes.
Name Your Own Buffet
Heres a good one for those Chinese All-You-Can-Eat Buffets: Usually, the buffets have little signs above the sneeze guard telling what the buffet item is. Note the size and color of the signs and bring your own replacement signs next time you visit the buffet. Here are some suggestions: Dog Mein, Chicken PooPoo, Fried Lice, Plate Scrapings with Oyster Sauce, Beef with Pea Frogs, Mooey Gooey Guy Broth, ... you get the idea.
Its NOT for SALE!
Take out an ad advertising a friend's brand new vehicle for sale at thousands below it's value. List the incredible "MUST SELL" deal and their phone number. Have the ad run one day only in the Saturday classifieds. Now, take your friend out to "paint the town red" until the wee hours of the morning. The next morning his/her phone will be ringing off the hook with offers for the vehicle. --- thanks to Mike Mutsaerts
If you live in a house or apartment where the bathroom is embarrassingly close to the living or dining room (within earshot), excuse yourself during the meal or conversation and go into the bathroom and start emptying a bucket (which you have filled ahead of time and hidden in the bathtub or under the sink) slowly into the toilet. Do a couple of appropriate breaks in the water flow (like you have finally finished) and then start the trickle flow again. When you come out of the bathroom zipping up your pants, your company will most likely be in tears on the floor.
Take the shower head off and put a couple of jelly beans up the pipe and replace the shower head. When the victim takes a shower they won't be able to figure out why they are sticky all over! The first thing they will do is get back in the shower, it will be worse when they get out the second time! Don't forget to remove whats left of the jelly beans or you will get yourself! --- Mike
Bloody Saber Saw
It's always fun to play jokes on rookies. This one poor slob had a fear of power tools in general, saws in particular. To take advantage of this, the victim was assigned to saw a hole in a control panel with a saber saw. He wanted to be SURE nobody was behind the panel so he wouldn't cut through flesh. While he was nervously cutting the hole, two guys sneaked behind the panel. One had a two by four and the other had ketchup. One guy pushed the two by four into the saw blade while the other one squirted ketchup on the blade and started screaming. The victim thought he was cutting off a limb when he saw the "blood" and heard the screams. The larger the crowd, the better this joke works. --- Stan Tisinger
Expires June 1, 1972
Take little return address labels and print made-up expiration dates on them. Then go around sticking them on things (medicine, food, milk,etc...) I did this once and my mom was going crazy, because she couldn't figure it out. Best to use dates like ten years ago. --- Thanks to Paul Lodholz
Spontaneous Combustion in the Tanning Parlour
Take an extra set of clothes and leave them on the chair. Then pour a little pile of ashes in the closed tanning bed.
More Tanning Parlour Terror
Get some really gross pictures of people with skin cancers. Plaster the wall in the tanning room with them. Distribute brochures telling of the horrors of ultraviolet radiation all over the waiting area (plant some more in the waiting room magazines). --- Stan Tisinger
Still More Tanning Parlour Terror
Go out at night and catch a whole bunch of moths. Release them in the salon. When a tanning bed is lit up, they will be attracted to it and buzz the occupant. --- Stan Tisinger
Youll Dye with This One...
It's a little destructive but funny ...Get a bottle of rit clothing dye (make sure it's the same color as the laundry soap) dump th bottle of dye in the bottle of tide and watch their reaction most of the time they take it back to the store and say it's defective. --- Thanks to: Will Dahlke
Seized by the FBI
I've been trading jokes with a large group of strangers over the internet for several months now. I sent them an email stating that the FBI Sexual Predator Task Force had seized my computer for certain illegal pornagraphic images they discovered on my hard drive. I then stated that my attorney has told me that the FBI is tracing down everyone that I've exchanged any e-mails or files with and that they were going to obtain search warrants to check their PC's out also and I advised them to delete any files they had saved from me. It really scared all of them! They didn't even bother to realize it was April 1st! They were too busy searching their hard drives trying to find anything I might of sent them! --- Thanks to: David Anderson
Carefully smear some creamy peanut butter on the bottom of your shoe. Keep your foot off the floor so you don't get it dirty. Cross your legs and wait for someone to notice that you have stepped in some dog poop and point it out to you. Reach down and get a sample with your finger, put it in your mouth, taste it and say, "yep, that tastes like dog poop alright! ". This usually sends a few to the rest room. --- Stan Tisinger
This is one of those pranks that just kept going for years. The Phantom Plumber as he came to known, would sneak into the men's room and loosen the nut on the top of the urinal. Nothing would happen until someone flushed it. Then the water would spray from the top of the urinal and you get SOAKED from the waist up. I mean SOAKED! --- Stan Tisinger
A Date for the Boss
Prior to your next office party get a picture of your boss copied with his/her real phone number advertising Need a date to the Christmas Party, please call... Plaster the posters in strategic locations around the office or around town. --- Angela Hogge
SPEAKER IS BROKEN
Go to a fast food drive-thru with a speaker system and post a big sign in red letters on the speaker that reads, "SPEAKER IS BROKEN PLEASE SPEAK LOUD." Park your car within earshot of the speaker, then watch and listen for the shouting to begin. Eventually, someone will storm out of the restaurant and rip down the sign. --- Stan Tisinger
Next time you visit a friend who owns a rabbit, or go to the petting zoo, take few Cocoa Puffs with you in your pocket. Discretely reach into your pocket and get some Cocoa Puffs in your hand. Reach into the cage and pretend to grab a few rabbit droppings. Display them to your friends, then quickly pop them in your mouth, chew, and swallow. Ummmm!
Theres Always Room For...
When house sitting for a freind, my husband and i came up with a great joke. The day before our friends came back from vacation, we filled their bathtub with cold water and ice cubes, then multiple packages of Jello. To help the jello set, we turned the air conditioner on high to keep the house cold. --- Kimberly Dronsky
Medicine Chest Capers
A good way to catch nosey Guests. Open your medicine cabinet. Remove everything in the bottom section. Hold a piece of cardboard (like a dam) over the bottom of the cabinet then load whatever you want inside (marbles , ping pong balls , golf balls and miscellaneous stuff). Close the door and slide the cardboard dam out. When the nosey guests open the medicine cabinet, the booby trap will catch them. --- Bill Turner
Winning Lottery Ticket!
Got someone who is consistantly playing the lottery? Get the winning numbers from last week and play them. Then leave the old paper out along side the lottery ticket which you have switched with theirs. When the person goes to check their number they all match and think they are a winner! --- Gilda
Really Fresh Chicken
Got a KFC Chicken fanatic in your group of friends? Go to a KFC and get a bucket, no chicken, just the bucket. Purchase a live chicken (pick out a very docile hen) and put it in the bucket. Bring your bucket of chicken to a party, select your victim and tell the others NOT to take the lid off the bucket. When you victim goes for the chicken and removes the lid, they will be NOSE TO NOSE with a LIVE CHICKEN! This is REALLY fresh chicken! (If you cant get a live chicken, stop by the grocery store and get a fresh whole chicken from the butcher.) --- Stan Tisinger
Roof Top Soda
Attach a 32 oz. soda cup to the top of your car with a large magnet inside the bottom of the cup. As if you had left it there by mistake, drive merrily along with the radio LOUD so you can't hear the people yelling to get your drink off the car. When they point and wave, act like they are waving at you, smile and wave back. You would not believe the reactions to this in traffic. People will GET OUT OF THEIR VEHICLE and tap on the window to tell you about the cup! This also works well with an aluminum can and a double sided wet suction cup. --- Stan Tisinger
Flooding the Formica
Fill water glasses FULL and turning upside down on kitchen counter --- it looks like they're drying. When someone picks up the glasses to put them away, they will create a flood. Use a stiff cardboard held tightly over the brim of the glass to accomplish the flip maneuver, then slide out the card so the filled glass is sitting upside down on the counter. --- Thanks to Bob Olsen
In a band? Tape the spit valve open on a trumpet and watch the guy try to figure out what's wrong with the horn. --- Thanks to Bob Olsen
Dialing for XXX
I like to change my boss's speed dial numbers to massage parlor numbers.....especially funny when they're not very quick. --- Thanks to Kimball@...
Frame A Friend
Sometimes when you buy used videos from Blockbuster, they still have the little theft strip on them. So if you ever want to get someone good, just remove theft strip and put it in his pocket, then send him on a run to the video store.Works great! --- Thanks to Randy M.
While someone is not looking, place a small pin hole in the side of their coke can (or any soda can) just below where they drink. When they take a drink they will think they have "Spilled" some on them, this could go on for 10 minutes without them finding out. It’s hilarious to watch them as they wipe their chin after each drink. --- Thanks to Wade Neonman3@...
From: "How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace" author unknown
Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask them to settle the disagreement.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present.
Come to work in your pajamas.
Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."
Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all reports that you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures yourself.)
Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm. When everyone gets to the meeting, tell them to go home.
Volunteer to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
No matter what anyone asks you, reply "OK" while nodding.
Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
Grow mold in your coffee cup.
Put on your headphones on whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk in a loud voice. Remove your headphones when he or she leaves.
When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, "I think my phone is ringing" and leave. Go get a coffee.
Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many" and send a memo about it to your coworkers.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair.
Talk into your daytimer.
Duct Tape Christmas lights around the top of your cubicle.
Include a personal note on every e-mail you send. "On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." Or, "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Tetris last night."
Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers.
Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the company fish tank.
Send blind e-mail messages announcing "Free pizza and doughnuts in the lunchroom!" When people complain that there was none, just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that." Do this continually nobody believes you anymore. Then order in pizzas and doughnuts in the lunchroom.
Secretly put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Watch the fireworks that will follow.
When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.
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